Memories from Google Photos

March 27, 2016 was Easter Sunday.   I remember this because Good Friday fell on the Feast of The Annunciation (3/25) that year  I certainly didn't need Google to remind me of this, yet this morning when I woke up I was greeted with a Rediscover This Day card with pictures from Pascha. Some of the pictures that stood out to me were these:

Holy Week in the Eastern Church starts with a two-day celebration of the Raising of Lazarus and The Entry into Jerusalem.  The week moves towards the sorrow of Good Friday and ultimately to the joyful news of the Resurrection.

The first picture was taken on March 22, and the other pictures were taken on Pascha (3/27) at Banner University Hospital in Tucson.  These pictures stood out to me because of the smile on Ryan's face and the backstory being that he wanted to take our basket of goodies to have a picnic with his Mom.  For us, we had been on our own Holy Week journey that started on Holy Monday with Ryan learning just how bad his Mom's condition was and him asking the tough question of "Is Mom going to die?"  When I told him the answer he was devastated and cried so much that night.  The first picture was the first time he saw his Mom after learning about her prognosis.  He climbed in bed with her and smiled. 6 days later he sat in that same bed fresh from singing "Christ is Risen from the dead, and by death he trampled death and to those in the tombs he granted life"  Through all of it, he was smiling.

That week forever changed the life of my boy.  A part of his innocence was lost that week, and a big part was lost 3 short weeks later.  Like the layers of an onion, things have come up over the years  that reveal just how much these events changed him.   His journey through Holy Week reflected the message of the Passion and Resurrection as sung by the Eastern Church.

"The whole creation was transformed with fear, when it saw you hanging on the Cross, O Christ.  The sun grew dark and the earth's foundations were shaken. All things suffered along with you, who made all things.  O Lord, who willingly endured this for us, glory to you!"

"Seeing you on the Cross today, O sinless Word, the spotless Virgin wept with maternal tenderness and her heart was sorely grieved.  Groaning in pain from the depths of her soul, she spent herself tearing at her cheeks and her hair and beating her breast pitifully:  Alas, O divine Child, O Light of the world!  Why are you fading from my eyes?  The the ranks of angels were seized with trembling and said, "O Incomprehensible Lord, glory to you."

"It is the day of Resurrection, O People, let us be enlightened by it.  The Passover is the Lord's Passover, since Christ our God, has brought us from death to life and from earth to heaven.  We therefore sing the hymn of victory..Christ is Risen from the dead!"

"Come, let us partake of a new drink, not miraculously produced from the barren rock, but from the fountain of immortality, springing up from the tomb of Christ.  In him is our firm strength.  Christ is Risen from the dead!"

"You have descended into the realm of Death, O Christ, and have broken ancient bonds which held the captive. You arose from the tomb on the third day, like Jonah from the whale.  Christ is Risen from the dead!"

"O Death, where is your sting?  O Hell, where is your victory?  Christ is risen and you are overthrown!  Christ is risen and the demons are fallen!  Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!  Christ is risen and life reigns!  Chris is risen and not one dead remains in the grave!  For Christ, being risen from the dead, is become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep.  To Him be glory and dominion unto ages of ages."  Paschal Homily of St. John Chrysostom.

EWTN uses the phrase "Holy Week: The Week That Changed The World".  While the Holy Week I wrote about and showed photos from may not have changed the entire world, it did change the world for Ryan.  He has come so far since that week, and while challenges remain, he knows that death is overthrown through the Resurrection.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

You Still Believe in God?

Following on the heels of my rant about people and their opinions about widows, I want to address the one question that many people ask me.  So, after all that you've been through, why are you still a believer?

The answer to that question is complex, and can be a long and winding explanation.  I'll do my best to try and keep it short.  I have written about my journey away from the church, out into the world and back on another page.  To summarize, boy grows up Catholic.  Boy wants to become a priest but his vocations director leaves priesthood to get married.  Boy gets married outside the church and runs far away.  Boy becomes a father and runs back to the church. The end.

The reality is when I found my way back to the Eastern Catholic church, I found myself all-in.  Through participation in the liturgical cycle of the church,  I convalidated my marriage, I found my way back to confession and ultimately found myself sitting in the seminary studying to be a deacon.  My reversion was strong and Diane Feinstein would have said, "The dogma lives loudly in you".  Through all the study, participation in Liturgy and giving of myself to the parish I came to see what it means in John 1:16 "From His fullness we have all received grace upon grace."

Just how full was my "grace tank" began to be revealed to me in 2015.  That was when Theresa was diagnosed with breast cancer, 2 days before I left for the seminary.  Upon returning to Arizona, it was 9 months of bad news.  Every time we hoped for something good, something bad came instead.  Yet, every time bad news came our way, I could see the grace inside of Theresa working.  She was scared.  Scared for what was coming her way, scared for what was coming to Ryan and I.  Yet, she held firmly to the promise of the Resurrection.  When her birth into eternity was close, she was given the grace of having 2 priests give her the Anointing of the Sick.  She fell asleep in the arms of the Church, with the firm promise of what was to come.  And after that, my "grace tank" began to drain.

When I was accepted into the deacon formation program, my priest said to me "Congratulations, you now have a giant bullseye on your back."  You have decided to give yourself in service to the Lord and you will be tested.  In the months after Theresa died I found myself starting to go through the motions.  I would still attend Divine Liturgy every Sunday, but my other service to the church began to wane.  No longer did I attend every solemnity.  No longer did I attend vespers.  I found myself doing the minimum things necessary, and not really doing those things very well.  I found myself writing theological papers that received the highest grades, at the same time wondering if this was real.  Yes, the 2nd year deacon candidate was starting to lose his faith.

When I returned to the seminary for year 3 I was blessed with a beautiful fiancé.  That new relationship caused some issues for me with the seminary staff and those issues, coupled with the doubts I experienced throughout year 2 made the decision to leave formation easy.  Once I left, my faith was further tested by a priest who didn't seem all to interested in my new fiancé and was less than welcoming when we approached for marriage.  Added to that was Ryan having issues with his mom's death and declaring, "How can we know for sure there is a God?"  Or, "how do we know that we were created by a God and not by the big bang".

By the time I moved to Phoenix in December 2017, my tank was down empty.  Once I left deacon formation, I stopped reading and studying the faith.  My attendance at Divine Liturgy was only done out of a sense of obligation.  In short I went from "why would you not go to Liturgy" to "Do I have to go to this Liturgy".  This state of emptiness went on for many months.  This all reversed course one night when Ryan declared, "I don't believe in God.  The earth was created from the Big Bang, not through a God."  Not sure how to respond to that, I took a blank sheet of paper and had Ryan draw a picture on it.  I put some words around the picture and drew a bunch of lines all over the page.  I took the paper, cut it up into a bunch of small pieces and tossed all the pieces up into the air.  I asked Ryan  how many times would we need to throw the paper into the air before it landed on the ground in the same condition it was before I cut it up.  He said it never will.

That's when I said to him, "Those who believe in a random Big Bang, devoid of any intelligent design, believe that is exactly what happened.  A bunch of matter exploded and formed life as we know it."  I said, "what do you think the chances of that happening perfectly to support life as we know it was completely random and without intelligent design?"  He said, "probably as much chance as the paper coming back together."  I dusted off my Theology books and turned to the section about Thomas Aquinas and the first mover.  I explained the principle that every object at rest remains at rest until acted on by another force.  That force is God.

And that dialogue between a boy and his Dad started the process of filling up my tank again.  I was quickly reminded of how the strong Theresa's faith was, in the face of absolute terror. I watched her grow from a woman whose horrible childhood family dynamics hung over her like a dark cloud to one that could stare in the face of death and say, "I am ready, I want to go home. I have made my peace with everyone and am ready to stand before the fearsome judgement seat"  I've witnessed a 10 year old boy deal with the death of his mom and all the struggles and doubts that come from that.  That same boy is able to sit down and have a conversation with his mom, reflecting on what the Resurrection means. That faith can only come through grace given from the Trinity.  I started praying again, I started to read and study the faith again.  And most importantly, I moved from Do I have to go to I can't wait to go.

 My tank is far from full and in some aspects I don't think it will ever be as full as it was when I applied for application into the seminary.  When people ask me, "You still believe in God after all that you've been through?", I happily answer "Yes, to whom else would we turn to?

Glory to Jesus Christ

Ree

Friends, this post is going to be a rant.  And to be candid, most of those reading it are guilty of this type of judgmentalism.  A few days ago I came across a blog posting about a comedian named Patton Oswalt.  I had no idea who this guy before reading the post.  Let me bring you up to speed on who he is.

Patton Oswalt is a comedian whose wife died in April 2016.  He was very public with his grief on his social media page and was equally as public in announcing to his followers that he was engaged to be married.  And it was at that time the grief police (GP) came out in force.  A snippet of some of the comments he received to that announcement are:

The list went on, comment after comment, most with disdain and judgement.  Part of this has to do with his public persona.  He is someone people know of, like Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook whose own moving forward after her husband's death brought out the GP.  Because these people live in the public eye, people who know nothing of them feel free to make their opinion known.  It's the kind of thing that people like us, you know those who lost a spouse to death,  get all the time.  When I was early on in my journey I just nodded and walked away.  Now that I'm much further on in my journey, I won't just walk away anymore.  Rather, I'll tell you that you are an asshole, an ignorant, judgmental one at that  and let you have it.  So, here is the rant I promised.

Those of you who have not joined this club are not entitled to an opinion.  You do not get to comment and opine on the choices we make or have made while you sit happily next to your living spouse.  You have no idea what it is like to have your everyday world upended by a diagnosis, a phone call, a knock on the door.  You have no idea what it is to tell your child that their mother is very sick and is going to die soon.  You have no idea what it is like to sit in a hospital room with your dying wife and have her tell you she wants you to remarry, she wants you to be happy.  You know why, because you have never walked in our shoes before.  Sure, you may know people who have walked that walk, but until you have walked it yourself, you know not what we know.

Who gave you the position to judge when it's "too soon" for a person to move on with their life.  In the case of Patton the cry was, it's only been 15 months! Well, how long should a widow sit in isolation before YOU are comfortable enough to release them from their solitary confinement?  The reality is, none of this is about you.  You aren't actually all that concerned about the heart of the widow who found strength to move forward and courage to love once more.  You're too worried about your own feelings or sensibilities being offended.

It does take courage to move forward with another person after death.  Because  we all understand one thing.  Every person in our life is going to die.  We know intimately that the price of love is pain and death.  So instead of your askance glance, your murmuring and whispers, how about an understanding of the courage it took for us to love again.

One of my favorite comments listed above was "Like, good for them and all, but for me personally, I'd like to be mourned for more than a few months."  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the root cause of all the stupid comments and statements that people say to and about widows.  It is centered in narcissism.  It's all about them.  It's all about how they feel.  It's all about how they want to be remembered.  It's not about those that are left behind, those picking up the pieces.  Damn it, I want you to walk around in mourning for a long time.  You need to be unhappy that I died.  Well, to the self-centered narcissists making those kind of statements, #$@k you and the horse you rode in on.  If that offends you, guess what, I really don't care.  Truly, I'm past worrying about offending others.  If you are an idiot I'm going to tell you so and dump your toxic personality from my world.

I endured more than my share of sideways glances.  I had people come to me and tell me they didn't like my choices.  I had people, in a passive aggressive manner, let their feelings be known. I had friends who no longer speak to me anymore.  I didn't let my feelings be known to them for many reasons.  First, the widow thing was still pretty new for me.  Second, I was in formation for holy orders and I needed their support to chant Axios! if I were to be ordained.  Well, I'm well past the newness of that title and I don't need anyone's affirmation or support anymore.  So, to those of you who may be reading this and thinking "He's talking about me",  yes I am.  And if you choose to make your opinion known to me, I promise I won't hold back on my true feelings for you.

I know that my new wife heard from friends of hers: are you sure, this seems too soon, what are you doing.  I'm happy that she didn't listen to them and chose to judge me on my merits and actions.  I chose to move forward and be happy, not dwell on things that might have been.  We have gone through hell fire and lived to talk about it.  We don't need your negativity in our lives.  So, if what you have to say about a widow or widower isn't supportive and encouraging, keep it to yourself.  Those of us in the "club" aren't interested in hearing it.

Yep, This Guy Says It All

I Married A Stepford Wife?

   ***The names have been blurred to protect the idiots, I mean contributors.***

     When I said "I Do" in June, apparently I did not know that I was saying that to a Stepford wife. I equated that word with the 2004 movie shown above. Little did I know that there is also an urban dictionary entry for Stepford Wife. It reads " 1. Used to describe a servile, compliant, submissive, spineless wife who happily does her husband's bidding and serves his every whim dutifully. 2. Can also be used to describe a wife who is cookie-cutter & bland in appearance and behavior. Subscribes to a popular look and dares not deviate from that look." 

     Before anyone thinks that I have lost my mind, let me explain where that comment originated.  Unless you have been stranded on a deserted island or just awoken from a long winters nap, you would be hard pressed to find someone who has not seen the drama playing out in the United States Senate over the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court.  In the interest of brevity, I'm going to assume everyone knows that saga.

     My wife attended an all-girls Catholic high school in Phoenix.  She has many of her classmates as social media friends and one of them posted "1 believe her.  I believe you."  Jennie, commented on the post and said (paraphrasing), "How would you feel in 30 plus years if your son was up for a Supreme Court nomination and someone came out saying her tried to rape her without evidence...I have three girls and a son so don't think I take these accusations lightly."  This drew a quick response from the OP, who replied on emotion and without taking into account the lack of evidence presented to support the claim made by Dr. Ford.

     My wife, trying to interject logic into the conversation, brings up the lack of evidence once again and suggests that the timing of the process was suspect.  The OP doubles down, and decides to say that the Senate will not let the FBI investigate (Strike 1), and brings up the topic of priest sexual abuse.  "As for he said/she said, You're absolutely right.   I wasn't in the room when this attack happened.  Of course, I wasn't in the room when priests in the Catholic Church were sexually violating young boys, but I believe them, even though they brought it up 30 years later."  Again, arguing from logic, rather than emotion, Jennie brought up that when the priest abuse victims named a person, place, time(s) and other pertinent details, they are very credible.

     Jennie writes the following to the thread and makes the "fatal flaw" of saying "Hopefully the next generation will be able to start reporting, that's the only way it is going to change."  And that's when the fangs came out from her XCP classmates.

     My favorite poster came in the name of Christina, aka Hissy Chrissy.  She was the one who labeled my wife as a Stepford Wife who needs to stop with the "I have a son business..because she has been a stepmom to a preteen boy for barely more than a millisecond who is no expert on raising boys who fashions herself an expert on everything. Hissy tells the token man on the group, Buddy , how she unfriended Jennie a long time ago when there was some confusion on her mind ( and mine apparently) on the link between homosexuality and the priest pedophilia crisis.  That was too much for Chrissy...she wanted no association with someone whose views are so skewed from reality and humanity (and supposed Christianity!)  Thank you for seamlessly pointing out her fucked up priorities.  Hissy Chrissy ended by saying she will pray for Jennie, for her to stop drinking the koolaid, to not be such a hypocritical Catholic and in the future to think about her daughters on the Supreme Court and not just her stepson.

     Chrissy's hissy emboldened the other prep schoolers who decided to hang setting back the entire feminist movement back 30 years on my wife, while telling her, to shut up, seriously just shut up.  One of the ladies even posted a  GIF of a woman doing the hula hoop, in a skirt, while running a vacuum (funny because we have a robot that vacuums the floor and I am the one who uses the vacuum in our house.)  One of the posters linked to a tweet from Emily Lindin in November 2017 that said, "Here's an unpopular opinion:  I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations.  If some innocent men's reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay."  And it was at that moment the true purpose of the posts, Chrissy's Hissy fit and the dogpile became clear.  These elitist prep school graduates don't want truth or justice, they want blood.  If good people suffer along the way, so be it.  This is a mob mentality.  If you don't agree with me, no matter how stupid my point is, you are part of the problem and I don't care if you are a casualty along the way.


     Either these good Catholic girls were absent during their theology classes, chose to ignore what they were taught or they weren't taught the true faith.  Going back to the original point raised by my wife, that you need evidence to make an allegation that has the power to destroy someone.  Section 2477 of the Catechism reads: "Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.  He becomes guilty of rash judgement who, even tactily, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor.  As my wonderful wife pointed out, there is not one shred of credible evidence that has come forth in the Kavanaugh matter.  Yet, these "Catholic women", have already judged the man guilty, even to the point of not caring if innocent men suffer so long as patriarchy is undone.

     I'm not sure I'm qualified to comment as I've only been the stepfather to three girls for 4 months, which is a whole lot more than a millisecond (really Hissy Chrissy, did they teach you math & science at XCP?  A millisecond?)  However, our girls and son are being taught to respect everyone.  The girls are taught that no one should ever violate them in any way and are encouraged to come to us with any matter.  If something were to happen to them, the police will be involved, period.  You know why?  Because they will have names, dates, times, places, answers to questions that Dr. Ford had none to.  That's the way our legal system works.  You are not judged guilty absent compelling evidence beyond any reasonable doubt.

     My son is being raised as a real man should be raised and will be taught things that I never was because he is growing up in a world that hates men.  If you don't believe that, just look on your smartphones app store for the Consent app.  Yep, there's an app to get a man and woman to sign consent to do, well you know what.  I will teach him to never put himself into a position where someone can make an allegation against him, false or true.  That is the only way to defend yourself against the mob mentality that says  "Here's an unpopular opinion:  I'm actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations.  If some innocent men's reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay."


     Finally, I feel compelled to defend my wife from the Stepford Wife label and hypocritical catholic labels..  She is far from spineless, servile, compliant, cookie-cutter, one who does my bidding and serves my every whim dutifully.  She's a great mother, step-mother (of a boy for far long than a millisecond, Hissy Chrissy), strong, fiercely independent and my best friend. As for being a hypocritical catholic, her position is the only position that a catholic should be taking right now.  Absent real evidence, this charade should have never seen the light of day.  Take a few days to read the Catechism of the Catholic church, you know the one they probably didn't bring out during your high school days.  


PS...Contrary to the post of Leigh Ann , the republicans did order the FBI to investigate. If it turns up no evidence, I assume you all will repent of your calumny, right?

PS(2) - The prosecutor who asked the questions of Dr. Ford produced a report where she said she would not go forward with prosecution of the case due to lack of evidence and multiple inconsistencies in Dr. Ford's story.  Does that make her a "Stepford Wife" too?

PS(3) - It was fun seeing how quickly they came out of the woodwork to get their names blurred out. One of them, citing some ridiculous belief that posting in a group where only friends are posting, believed it was a violation of her privacy.  As we tell all the children, once you press return, it is gone forever.  Anyone who is a party to the conversation can cut, paste, edit and clip.    
Maricopa Prosecutor article
   

Questions We Don't Ask In Polite Society

     One of the strange things that happens to people like me, you know people who lost a spouse to death, is when people want to ask a question but are too socially conscious, respectful, kind or just to damn afraid to ask.  People will dance around questions, hint at what they want to ask, but they just won't come out with it.

     I recently had one of those awkward exchanges with a co-worker who is  much older than me, on his experience of having dated a woman who was a widow.  He was telling me how strange it was, how it was easier for him to date divorcees, etc...and he wanted to crawl under a rock when he found out my story.  He tried in a round about way to ask some common questions that people have, but are afraid to ask.  So with that recent experience in mind, I offer up the following Q&A:

What is it like to date after you are widowed?

Awkward, super awkward, at first.  In my case, I had not been on a first date in more than 24 years and had been out of that game for a long, long time.  Along the way there were some foolish mistakes made and some stupid decisionst.  However, once the right one came along, there was nothing awkward, nothing foolish about it.  It just felt right, and perfect.

Don't you think it's kind of soon to start dating?  (or the flip side, when are you going to get out there again)

This is the one question that every widow will hear, in various forms, at some point.  It's either, don't you think it's too soon or isn't it about time your started to date.  The point is, everyone will have an opinion on this matter, especially those who have no idea what they are talking about.  As the old saying goes, opinions are like *$#holes, everyone has one and they think theirs doesn't stink.  Some people will date weeks after, some months, some years and some never.  This is a decision that can be made only by the widow themselves.  There was some great advice I read once that said, "I fulfilled every marriage vow I made right until the death do us part vow.  Can others say the same thing?  This person said whenever she gets flack from outsiders she would silently chant this to herself.  Me, I just throw that part in their face and peace out.  I've had good friends who have yet to acknowledge my marriage and deep down I think they just don't understand or are afraid of what they would do in a similar situation.  Does it bother me anymore?  Nope, it's your loss.  I'm loving my life.

How did others take to the news that you were dating, engaged or married?

Like I mentioned above, I've had several close friends and associates that have never acknowledged my new marriage.  At first, it bothered me a little bit.  But, like all things in my life, I don't need acknowledgement from other people to be happy .  Most of the people I know were over the moon happy for me and have supported me along the way.  So, that has been a mixed barrel of results.

There was an interesting exchange that took place when I was dating Jennie, all behind the scenes and behind my back.  We took a great trip to Cancun.  Imagine that, two single adults going on vacation together.  Our photos seemed to cause scandal and word got back to people that I might be cavorting with a beautiful blonde in the Mexican sun.  Rather than coming to me and asking the questions, these people took the cowardly way and began to murmur.  I have written in another post, learn to fine art of saying *$@! off to people and choose your own path.  To those who were murmuring, I put a ring on it!

Did you take off your wedding ring before you started dating?

Like the question above, this can only be answered by the individual.  For me, I chose to stop wearing my wedding ring shortly after my marriage ended.  I put it away in the safe and never pulled it back out.  I did wear her anniversary ring around a chain for most of the first year afterwards.  Eventually, I started forgetting to put that chain on and soon afterwards it was locked away as well.  I replaced it with a Miraculous medal and a St. Benedict medal.

Have you ever called your wife by your late wife's name?

Nope, but she has called me by her ex-husbands name once before (entirely by accident).  I think this is a big fear that anyone has, divorcee or widower, that you will screw up and call your new spouse by your old ones name.  Don't sweat it.  If it happens, laugh about it and move on.  Life's too damn short to worry about stupid things.

Do you call your new wife your second wife?  What do you call your first wife?

I think this is another highly individualistic questions.  For me, I quickly started calling my first wife by her name.  I'm blessed (or maybe cursed) with a clear sense of organization and legality.  My first marriage ended with the fulfillment of the final vow I made.  As Scripture says, there is no marriage in heaven and the relationship I had ended.  As for Jennie, I simply call her my wife because that's who she is.

Did you pick someone who is like your former wife?

Not really.  I mean, they both were blondes, so i guess that's my type!  One of the mistakes I made early on was to run from everything that was good in my  marriage and find the opposite of it.  I quickly realized that those things that were good about Theresa were not unique to her, but something universal that any good woman should have.  Things like motherly instinct, strong compassion for others, a nurturing personality.  Those are qualities that a man should look for in his wife.  So, with that said, there were some things that were similar.  But, by and large, they are completely unique people and special to me in vastly different ways.  And that is one of the things that people seem to have a hard time with, probably due in large part to the vast number of divorced people in the world.  When your spouse dies, you don't stop loving them and you don't forget all the good that came from that relationship.  When you divorce someone, you usually stop loving them and your emotions turn more towards anger and resentment.  I think that's why so many people have a hard time dating someone who is widowed..it's easier to understand someone who hates or is angry with their former love.


What did you do with her stuff, with family photos?

Again, this is a highly individualistic question and everyone may answer differently.  The afternoon of Theresa's funeral, all of her clothes had been packed away and made ready for donation to St. Vincent de Paul.  I kept three things out of all those clothes.  A pink disneyland hat that she wore on all of our island hopping vacations, a green scarf from Ireland and a blue sweater.  That latter two items were ones that Ryan wanted and he keeps them in his room.  The pink hat, in a box somewhere.  As for pictures, I kept a few of the family pictures up in my old house and packed them away when we moved a year later.  Ryan wanted some  for his room and he has them on the wall.  Everything else has been either boxed or given away.  Our new home has pictures of our new life, as it should be.

I will leave you with this.  People like me, you know, young widows/widowers are just like you, people.  We've been through something that most married people will go through, just not quite as early as we did.  Don't be afraid to talk to us about our lives or our loves.  If we don't want to talk about it, we will tell you so.  If we do talk about it, consider it a gift of wisdom from those who have been to hell and found the way back.  And remember this:

"Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".  Live each day to the fullest and have no regrets. 

Honeymoon in Paris - Day 7 (Last Day in Paris)

    Sunday was our last full day in France.  After waking up, I walked over to the Boulangerie Saint Louis for croissants and americanos.  We eventually got moving and made our way to Saint Julien-le-Pauvre, a Melkite Catholic church located in the across the street from Notre Dame.  Divine Liturgy was about to start and we noticed that there were several kids dressed for their first communion.  The Eastern Catholic in me was sad that they were doing this, as that is a latinization of our traditions of giving all sacraments of initiation at the same time.  Present for the Divine Liturgy were three priests and the Bishop.

     My limited French revealed that the children who were making their "first communion" had already been baptized, chrismated and received first communion on the day of their baptism.  It was a ceremonial thing that was happening.

     We left Divine Liturgy and set out to find the relics of St. Genevieve at St. Etienne-du-Mont which sat in the shadow of the Pantheon.  When we tried to get into the church we saw that it was closed until 1:00PM.  We got some lunch at a bistro and went inside the Pantheon.

     The Pantheon was built as a church dedicated to St. Genevieve and to house the reliquary containing her relics.  Sadly, during the French Revolution, the government ordered that the building be changed from a church to a mausoleum for the interment of great Frenchmen.    One of the things that stood out to me was a picture I took of La Convention Nationale.  This major work of sculpture stands where the altar used to be.  It features soldiers on the right and members of the National Convention on the left.  It was the National Convention who ordered the executions of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette.  Yet, above this symbol of secularism and nationalism stands an icon of Christ the King along with St. Michael and St. Genevieve.  Vive Le Christ Le Roi.

     We finished the audio tour and made our way to St. Etienne...only to find the doors were still locked.  We walked all around looking for an open door but to no avail.  We heard music coming from inside and found out there was a concert taking place.  At the intermission, Jennie found someone to pay so we could get inside the church.  The concert was being given by the Reykjavik Cathedral Choir.  The singing was fantastic and the acoustics of the church were incredible.  After the concert we found the relics of St. Genevieve and saw the rest of the church.

     We made our way back to the Hotel, where I stayed while Jennie went to the 6PM mass at Notre Dame.  Earlier in the day I had tweaked my back and I was having a bit of trouble moving around.  After mass, we left the hotel and walked towards La Brasserie de I'Isle Saint-Louis for dinner and drinks.  As we were leaving the hotel, the streets were wet from an earlier rain.  Walking and dancing in the rain was my beautiful wife.

20180610_210553 from Patrick Cullen on Vimeo.

     We sat on the patio, overlooking the Seine and Notre Dame.  We had dinner and drinks.  The waiter brought the check, I paid with my card and we were off.  Later in the night I realized that he charged by card 1.50 euros, instead of the 90 it was supposed to be.  I guess that helped with my poor exchange rate math of the previous 6 days!  We walked over to Notre Dame on more time to take in the view of the Cathedral all lit up.  We made our way back to the room around 11pm and packed our bags for the long trip home.